i just want something.....

God, sometimes my naughty thought lingering in my mind, what about if i don't want a relationships and i don't want a boyfriend but i just only want one thing, just sex, is that allowed ??? 
Thats not a good thought, i'm sorry, i know that.
Forgive me God

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You are the only one ......

Terkadang lucu juga bila kita mencintai orang yang itu-itu saja, mungkin bagi orang lain membosankan.  Namun aku bukan orang lain. Mencintai buatku adalah sakral dan hanya dapat kulakukan pada satu saja dalam satu kesempatan. Sekarang aku sangat mengasihimu dan aku mencintaimu lebih dari aku mengasihi diriku. Tidak terasa bila ada yang bertanya seberapa besar rasa sayangku maka aku akan menjawab bahkan nyawakupun akan kuberikan padanya hanya untuk melihat dia bahagia.  Hal konyol inilah yang selalu dianggap kebanyakan orang terlalu berlebihan, terlalu naif dan terlalu tulus. Mereka tidak pernah tahu bahwa saat kita mencintai sudah seharusnya orang yang kita cintai menjadi dunia kita. Mungkin bagi mereka yang tidak mengerti mencintai harus ada alasan, mencintai karena orang itu ganteng, mencintai karena orang itu kaya, mencintai karena orang itu terkenal, mencintai karena orang itu bisa memberikan pujian ataupun romantis. Namun apabila pertanyaan itu dilontarkan kepadaku, menga...
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my heart......

my baby..... maybe you never see this but i try to write my heart..... you know i love you, and you are everything to me, my baby if only you can see through my heart, you will know that nothing that i can not sacrifice for you....  my baby..... i can't see you suffer for me, thats how much i love you. my baby.... i love thw way you walk, your smile, your golden heart melt my mind and my soul. my baby.... i can sacrifice my happiness for you because when i'm with you i can smile whole heartedly, no one make me smile like you..... my baby...... my love..... my everything....... you don't have to be afraid of anything in the future because i will always support you and i will always want you to smile.... even in silence i cry.... as long as you happy and save thats enough for me... With love and pray always.... Joan Maria Louise Mantiri
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see you .....

I'm standing here in silence This graceful place of peace Watching the shadows come closer The birds they sing no longer The winds they blow no more With fear of death I'm waiting for the night to fall The sun will set forever One after one the stars they die The rainbow has turned to black Darkness has fallen in paradise Love is lost in memories All beauty and all light Have vanished from the Garden of delight The Devil and his gift The heart he stole away But innocence was lost long ago The morning will come no more Our dreams are all gone Midnight has come to stay Darkness has fallen in paradise Oh father please forgive us Forgive us all our sins Please bring your light Again to lead our way But my prayers are not answered They fade out to die And so does the last gleam of hope The morning will come no more Our dreams are all gone Midnight has come to stay Darkness has fallen in paradise I know my death is near Far beyond my dreams My fate is waiting To show me the light... ...
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